A Rose By Any Other Name…

Yesterday when I was doing dishes I got a bad pain in my right hand. This isn’t unusual, I get sudden jolts of pain regularly. This time however, I was holding a rather sharp knife and the pain caused my hand to jerk. Luckily I only got a slight gash on my left arm… it could have been much worse. It stings like an SOB though. Good Lord!!!

Tomorrow I have to go back to the doctor… thank God! I am so sick of this prescription. I feel sick all the time. The only thing that doesn’t make me throw up day after day is the little I eat and Coca Cola. If I don’t keep nursing Coke every day I feel like crap. I HATE IT!!! Especially since I’m not big on drinking soda pop and the likes… and Stuart doesn’t really want it around. *sigh*

My brother goes for his driving test on Hallowe’en. Tuesday night we’ll go trade cars with my dad since he works Wednesday, that way Jeffrey can still do his test in his car. This will be Jeff’s fourth attempt at taking the test. No, he hasn’t failed three times… three times he’s been unable to actually take the test for various reasons. I really hope it works out for him this time.

So many great cd’s have been released lately. Stuart and Jeffrey have been playing Halo for hours and I don’t even care ’cause I have Jeff’s laptop and my iPod! New Josh Turner… Carrie Underwood… Gary Allan… I’m very occupied. Heh. They’re awesome cd’s too. I like Carrie’s much more than I did her first one… Josh is always amazing, and Gary’s isn’t his best but still a great cd.

NaNoWriMo starts in only a few days! I’m actually excited, even though I can’t decide what to write about. I’ll figure it out I’m sure. Jeffrey has agreed to lend me his laptop for the first week of November since Steve will be here. This way I can stay out of the boys’ hair and get massive writing done… it’ll be great. Yes the boys will be loud and I’ll lose massive amounts of sleep again, but since I’m not trying to get through my illness and work this time I think I’ll survive some sleeploss.

I should try to convince Stuart to make some dinner soon… I’m starving. Now, how can I possibly pull him away from the fascinating video game? Hmmm.

Someone uploaded this new reality show called “Nashville” so I checked it out ’cause Jamey Johnson was mentioned. He wasn’t in the pilot episode (I don’t think he’s really in it much) but it was still a good show. It follows all these people as they try to become famous country singers and what not. My favourite is most definitely Chuck Wicks. He has this new song out called “Stealing Cinderella”. It’s not featured on the show, too recent I think, but I found it on YouTube and man is it ever something. I guess this means he’s been picked up by a label (the pilot had one label really interested in him) so that’s cool. I’m going to post the lyrics at the bottom of this post… but first I have some other things to share.

I caught a cold from Stuart’s son. No biggie, mostly a sore throat… but I have more energy. Seriously. Yesterday I had to be up at about ten because we had an apartment inspection, and I managed to do a full day. I went to bed around twelve last night and I wasn’t exhausted! Today I slept until about noon but I wasn’t groggy when I got up like I would usually be. It’s just really weird. I don’t know if it’s actually related but the timing is funny, and nothing else has happened to really change my energy levels. It’s so bizarre.

Last night we had to take Jeffrey to mom’s to get some stuff since mom moves at the end of the month. Well she started ranting ’cause she needs help moving and I said I can’t. She goes on to say it’s seventeen stairs up to the apartment and she needs help bringing the couches up! I stared at her and she went on to say I could at least help with the small stuff.

OK, the seventeen stairs will probably take everything out of me on a single trip and she expects me to go up and down? And there’s no point arguing with her ’cause she won’t hear it. Luckily Stuart just firmly stated, “She shouldn’t do anything except rest.” She still tried to argue the whole helping with small things but Stuart just stated, “She’ll be spending that day on the couch.” LOL.

He’s so protective. Mom finally agreed he was right too… thank God. I really couldn’t do it. And thank God Stuart is so understanding. I absolutely hate how I’m not able to really do anything but he never complains. Well he does, ’cause he says I don’t let him help me enough. If I’m exhausted but thirsty I get up and make my way to the kitchen for a drink… but I have to hold onto walls and what not to stay up. He keeps telling me to ask him to get me the drink or whatever but I hate that idea… sitting on the couch being all, “Stuart can you bring me this? That?” I mean he works hard every day he should be able to rest when he gets home.

His birthday is coming up on the 8th of October. Jeffrey and I are getting him something I know he’ll love so I’m getting excited. I think we may give him a birthday dinner and what not on the 4th since Jeff won’t be in for his birthday. Plus there’s a dinner planned at his parents the night of his birthday (which also happens to be Thanksgiving) so this way he can have one here too… with an Optimus Prime cake of course. LOL.

Stealing Cinderella
by Chuck Wicks

I came to see her dad
To sit down man to man
It wasn’t any secret
I’d be asking for her hand
I guess that’s why he left me waiting
In a living room by myself
With at least a dozen pictures of her
Sitting on a shelf

She was playing Cinderella
She was ridin’ her first bike
Bouncin’ on the bed
And lookin’ for a pillow fight
Runnin’ through the sprinklers
With a big popcicle grin
Dancin’ with her dad
Lookin’ up at him
In her eyes I’m Prince Charmin’
But to him I’m just some fella
Ridin’ in
Stealing Cinderella

I leaned in towards those pictures
To get a better look at one
When I heard a voice behind me say
Ain’t she somethin’ son
I said yes she’s quite a woman
And he just stared at me
And I realized that in his eyes
She would always be

She was playing Cinderella
She was ridin’ her first bike
Bouncin’ on the bed
And lookin’ for a pillow fight
Runnin’ through the sprinklers
With a big popcicle grin
Dancin’ with her dad
Lookin’ up at him
In her eyes I’m Prince Charmin’
But to him I’m just some fella
Ridin’ in
Stealing Cinderella

He slapped me on the shoulder
Then he called her in the room
When she put her arms around him
That’s when I could see it too

She was playing Cinderella
She was ridin’ her first bike
Bouncin’ on the bed
And lookin’ for a pillow fight
Runnin’ through the sprinklers
With a big popcicle grin
Dancin’ with her dad
Lookin’ up at him
If he gives me a hard time
I can’t blame the fella
I’m the one who’s stealing
Cinderella

So the trip to Vancouver was more pain than pleasure, but the concert was worth while.

The ferry boats were busier than I’ve ever seen so I couldn’t manage to find a single seat on there. Then y bus was full so I had to stand in line in the pouring rain for the next one, luckily they called one in. Then it was packed so I had to stand… I thought the bus would hit the breaks at some point and I’d fly forward from no strength to hold on.

To make matters worse this guy started bugging me on the ferry even though I had my headphones on, and then he bugged me the entire time in line for the bus and then followed me off the bus. I got off at Burrard to transfer to the Richmond B-Line and HE FOLLOWED ME! I asked him where he was heading and he said it didn’t matter, he was going wherever.

Took me a bit to find the right bus stop for the B-Line and sure enough he sat down there too. He asked me if he could find hotels along the way, I said not ’til he got to Richmond. He asked if that was where I was going. No. I was getting off at 70th Ave, the next stop over the bridge would be Richmond though. So I figured I’d loose him there… but he got off at my stop! I gave him a weird look so he went a different way.

Walked the twelve… fourteen blocks to Cory’s. Was late ’cause of all the bus troubles so got changed, turned back around and walked all the way back to Granville to get on another bus only to stand all the way to Granville Station. Then it took me a bit to find Granville Station. And old man got off at the Stadium stop too, and the escalators weren’t working so I helped him get to the street, but of course he went out on the other side of the skytrain so I had to walk all the way around. But I made it.

Met up with Courtney, said hi to her folks then we headed in. She bough a couple shirts and what not and we found our seats. Not bad seats! The Wreckers went on first, they were meh. Only words I could make out were my, oh my and that’s ’cause I know the song. HAH! Then it was time for Keith…

and the girls beside Courtney stood up and never sat down. *sigh* I wish people would realize some can’t stand for three hours. But if I wanted to watch I had to. Only time I could sit was when Keith and the band went to the center part for a couple songs. Damn chicks! And the chick beside me was completely tone deaf but singing at the top of her lungs. She didn’t even know the words half the time. Very annoying.

Keith was awesome though. Courtney got some great videos and pictures, I’m hoping she’ll let me nab some to share with you guys.

Getting back to Cory’s was a pain though. I got off at Granville Station and was supposed to find Howe and Dunsmuir. Riiiiight. I got so lost. Had to text Stuart at about midnight for help. Luckily he was still awake, ’cause I hate waking him up. I FINALLY got to Cory’s at like 1:30. Blah. Got to sleep at 3:30, 4ish, then was up at 5:30. Was so tired I couldn’t bring myself to make noise to tell Cory I was awake when he got up at 6 though, lol. Finally dragged my as out of bed and Cory and I took the same bus so we actually had some time to chat. YAY! And I made the 8:30 boat… dad picked my up in Nanaimo and took me to lunch and what not, then it was home.

I was in such a shitty mood though, I just couldn’t help it. All the walking and standing had my body in so much pain. Tuesday when Stuart got home from work I was on the couch nearly in tears, and I didn’t know why. He asked me if I wanted to talk… no. Talk about what? So he just paid attention to me… it was kind of cute. I felt kind of guilty ’cause I couldn’t tell him what was wrong, but I think he understood that I didn’t understand what was wrong. He watched some tv with me and just sat on the couch with me… it helped more than you’d believe.

Yesterday Stuart had the day off work. Why? ‘Cause I had to go to Comox to get my wisdom teeth out. I was so nervous, I mean with how all my pain is exaggerated (why do I always want to spell that with two x’s???) and what not, I didn’t know what to expect. The dentist was cool though… he went over my medical history with me so he knew about the hypothyroidism. He gave me a special medicine when he put me out ’cause it would make me happy. That was cool. I was out like a light. I sort of woke up at the end, don’t remember much though. I was wide awake for all of post-op though, which surprised them. But I had gauze in my mouth so I couldn’t talk to ask for a book or something. Grrr.

Then one of the nurses said I could go but my ride wasn’t there. When the nurses changed over the new one asked me my boyfriends name and went to find him. He was there… he was there the whole time! My dad did stop in just after my surgery started to give them a cheque so I guess the other nurse thought he was my ride. But no… grrr.

When we got back to Campbell River Stuart was sweet enough to run me to my mom’s, then dad’s, then London Drugs, then Save On Foods. LOL. We got my prescriptions, some yogurt and then came home. He got called in to work to do a run so we asked Jeff to come over ’cause someone needed to sit with me that night.

Well… the dentist prescribed percocet. Oh yes, percocet make me haaaaaaaaappy. LOL. So happy. Also got prescribed something for swelling and an antiiotic, and gravol since I can’t really take anything with FOOD. The freezing is just now wearing off and I’m happy for the pills. They also help with sleep… only woke up once last night. That was awesome. My jaw is starting to kill now though.

Today is a lazy day. Jeffrey lent me his laptop so I could stay comfortable on the couch with pillows and what not. And that’s what I plan to do, just stay in my pj’s doing nothing on the couch. Right now I’m going to have some soup before the pain comes on completely, then I’ll take a percocet and take a nap here.

Last night was so weird though… I was in some uncomfort and pain and yet I was in the best mood I’ve been in in forever. And I’m in a decent mood today even though Stuart phoned and woke me up at 10:30. ‘Course he was phoning to check on me so that’s kind of sweet….

I’m going to Vancouver tomorrow. I’m going to see Keith Urban at GM Place with my friend Courtney from LiveJournal. There’s a cool story as to why we’re going to this together, but I’m not in the mood to share it right now. So I get to get up early tomorrow and Stuart is driving me down to Nanaimo where I’ll grab the 12:50 boat. I should be at Cory’s by about 3:30… 4:00ish… provided somebody will be there. I just e-mailed him so hopefully he’ll get back to me on that. Might have to not take a bag if no one will be there… I’m sure I can survive in my Keith Urban t-shirt for two days.

Anyways, I don’t really want to go. How fucked up is that??? Like, I want to go to the concert, don’t get me wrong. This will make Keith one of my most seen people in concert, gotta love that. I just don’t feel up to the whole trip. I can’t afford to drive over so I’m relying on Vancouver transit. That’s all fine since it’s pretty reliable, what I’m worried about is the walking. There’s not a whole lot involved, but I can’t really do any without ending up sore and exhausted. I thing just Granville to Cory’s, about three or four blocks, will be the death of me. And I have to do it four times….

On top of that I’m not going to get much sleep. As far as I can tell I’ll probably be taking the 8:30 ferry Monday morning… so I’ll get to Cory’s around 11:00 or 11:30 Sunday night. Then it’ll take me forever, as it always does, to get to sleep, and then I’ll have to wake up at like 6:15 ’cause the bus I need to get is at 7:00 and I need to give myself time to drag myself back to Granville St.

That’s providing Liz is still picking me up Monday though. If that falls through, which it might, then I’ll have to wait for Stuart to get off work and come get me. He gets off at 5:30! Ugh. And I imagine Cory and Clinton work Monday so I’ll have to kill time… either in downtown Vancouver or in Nanaimo. Really probably both. And I won’t have much money to do anything. *cries*

This trip has been planned for ages, why is it getting all fucked up now? No better on Courtney’s end either, she had a major complication with rides to. Stuart is supposed to have Sundays and Mondays off… but of course he has to work this Monday. *sigh* I have been prepared for that for a while though, hence Liz picking me up. I just really, really hope she still plans on doing so. Killing ten hours doesn’t sound pleasant to me. Even if I will have my iPod with me.

And then after I get back… Wednesday I get my wisdom teeth out. What a week!

Poor Stuart. This morning the computer f*cked up on him so he turned it off and left for work. When I went to reboot it it couldn’t find an operating system. *head desk* I text him about it and he came home on his lunch break (which is only half an hour long) to fix it for me. That wasn’t why I had sent him the text, I just wanted him to know what was up in case he’d need to check something online before coming home. But he came and fixed it… ’cause he’s a sweetheart. He just won’t admit that.

Then after he left he phoned… he couldn’t have been back at work for five minutes. He was asking questions like “Do we need to do shopping tonight?” and stuff. Sounded odd. I can’t really explain what I mean by that, it was just an out of the blue call for what seems like a non-important reason, and the way he sounded…. Guess I’ll find out when I pick him up at 5:30. I think I’ll give him the option of just going home, we can switch my car over and everything tomorrow night. : Maybe he wants to go out with a friend? I dunno… I shall see.

Lately I’ve been feeling my moods going back to crap. The past week or so they’ve been alright, not great but I wasn’t real irritable or anything… but the last couple days I seem to be going back to that. I really don’t want to… poor Stuart is almost always on the wrong end of my bad moods. I hate taking little things out on him and then it makes me feel worse because I did. I can not win. I’ve really been trying, but I haven’t gotten much sleep the last few days so I’m sure that’s not helping.

Actually I think I need to see a doctor about my sleeping habits. I try to stay away from caffiene and everything, but still I can not sleep. Sometimes it’s so bad I have no chance unless I take one of my flexorals… which knock me right out. I’m scared to do that too much though so that’s really a last resort. And even when I do take one of my pills I wake up every two hours. WTF??? I can not remember the last time I had a full nights sleep!

My brother and Henry get in tonight. *sigh* They always seem to take over my apartment when they’re here. I don’t mind Henry so much, I mean he pays rent. And I don’t mind my brother either… it’s just… I don’t know. I like my space. They’re not too, too bad… they’re out most of the time. I just need to suck it up and realize they may watch a movie or two while they’re here.

In only five days I get to go to Vancouver! That should help my moods a lot… even if I am stressed about money. I’m thinking I’ll mention that I’m going to my dad ’cause then he’ll say I should stop in to see grandma. I really can’t afford any extra detours, so he may donate a little to the cause. I would like to see her. Knowing dad he has her worried sick about me… she probably thinks I’m dying.

And Keith Urban!!! He’s the whole reason for the very short Vancouver trip (go over Sunday afternoon, come home Monday morning). A friend over on LiveJournal and I are going to the show… I’m so stoked. It was over two years ago when I saw him in Grande Prairie and then Edmonton. Unfortunately I’m not big on his new cd… so hopefully he still does plenty from his first three. And OMG I will die if he does “Desiree”! He did it at the Edmonton show so I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

Oh, and it seems worth noting… Stuart is again clean shaven. *sigh*

Last night Stuart was, I guess, having a really restless night. He insisted on sleeping between the middle and MY edge of the bed, which is usually fine. He does that… wants to cuddle in his sleep. I think it’s adorable. But last night I went to roll over and he like flipped out at me. (Remember, he’s asleep.) He started swearing and stuff, it was weird. I tried to put my hand on him to calm him down and he smacked it away. Then anytime I bumped into him, which happened often since he was RIGHT THERE, he would hit away that… but he’s asleep so he’s not really coordinated. He grabbed my left arm at one point, and kneed me in the side at another.

Truth be known it probably wouldn’t have caused much damage, except all my pain is like times ten right now. I was in a lot of pain this morning. When I told him why he felt soooo bad too. *sigh* Tonight I think I’ll build a pillow fortress… hahaha. Seriously, not his fault but it did suck.

It is so nice to be able to update my iPod again. And now I can add themes and stuff. And I’m totally addicted to Cubis!!!!! But yeah, in the last day I’ve added the new Kenny Chesney and Reba cd’s, and every episode of Stargate Atlantis… and every episode of South Park. All ten seasons, seriously. That’s for Stuart.

I’m also converting the first season of Supernatural ’cause it seems like a good show, I just never had the opportunity to really get into it. I don’t know if I can accept the one guy as anyone besides Dean from the Gilmore Girls though. We’ll see.

My life seems so boring and pointless lately. I have nothing to do. I’m looking out the window right now… it’s such a beautiful day. The ocean looks relaxing, the temperature is good. I want nothing more than to go for a walk, but I can’t. I’ll get like a block, two if I’m lucky, down the road and be exhausted. Then I’ll have to turn around and climb all the stairs back up to the apartment. My body can’t do it. I HATE THAT!!! I want the muscle aches to go away, now. I don’t want to do this whole balancing crap. I want to go back to work, I want to be able to walk a good bit without feeling tired and sore, I want to sit at a computer for more than ten minutes without hurting. Hell, I want to be able to sleep beside Stuart on one of his restless nights and not end up sore and stiff!!!

I hate the weird moods I keep getting. It takes very little to make me upset, but it doesn’t take a lot to cheer me up at time either. The other morning… Tuesday I believe, I was exhausted in the morning. Made no sense to me since I was alright Monday and I actually got a decent amount of sleep. But no, I was so tired. I heard Stuart’s phone go off ’cause usually he works Tuesday, but he had this week off, but I could not bring myself to move in the least! Then about an hour and a half later I was woken up again, this time by Stuart’s beard/stubble. He was getting up but before he did he’d rolled over and given me a kiss on the cheek. No reason why… I mean he thought I was asleep so it obviously wasn’t for my benefit. That put me in a very good mood that day.

All week I’ve been in a lot of pain. My upper back and shoulders absolutely kill. They burn, and are stiff, and I can’t really lift my arms. I hate it. And it really hurts. Stuart tries to rub it but either it’s rather numb and I can’t feel him doing so, or it’s really sensitive and him touching it kills me. I simply can not win.

I wish my mother would stop thinking of me as a freaking taxi-cab. She’s always calling me for rides, and she’s quite a ways away from me so she expects me to drive all the way out there, drive here around, and then drive all the way back. WTF??? And the other night she had me run her downtown then Burt had to go “somewhere”. Turned out he was doing a fucking drug run. I was so pissed. My mom knows I don’t want to be put in that position. I don’t run her drugs and I don’t run her around drugs so she can buy them. I WAS SO FUCKING MAD!!!

In better news Kenny Chesney’s album is really good. I wasn’t the biggest fan of his last few albums but this one seems a lot better. His voice sounds good and clear, the music content is solid and… there’s a duet with George Strait! You can’t lose with the King on your album ya know? But seriously, awesome cd. And having the ability to put it on my iPod made my year. Seriously. I missed updating my iPod with all the various crap!!!

OMG! I’m adding music to iTunes on the new computer… so sometime soon I can actually update my iPod! It hasn’t been updated since June. I’m so excited!!!!! I’ve missed adding new music to my iPod, it’s so beautiful and so empty.. It’s an 80GB and I’m not even using half. Booo.

Last night I went to Tim Horton’s to have coffee with Aliesha but unfortunately she was running late and I was exhausted… and Stuart had got home and I just wanted to go see him. So in the end we missed each other… shitty deal.  

But… I get home and I haven’t even gotten the door closed yet and Stuart comes running in. I have my arms full of stuff but apparently this doesn’t matter as he wrapped his arms around me and gave me one of the deepest kisses he’s ever done. Wow. And he’s all stubbly ’cause he didn’t shave in Calgary! Well he trimmed it but he’s got this… I don’t remember what it’s called? He’s got a goatee and then he’s got his sideburns running down along his chin to the goatee. Can you picture it? ‘Cause holy Hell it’s hot.

So yeah, in the end it was a good night ’cause I got my boyfriend back! LOL. I can’t believe how much I missed him. We were on the couch and he just scooted over and his arm around me. Awww. It sounds like he had a lot of fun so that’s great, but I think he’s happy to be home.

His mom gave me underwear. What exactly do you say to that? It’s kind of awkward… like, “Oh, your son will like these on me!” Ugh. She bought them not realizing they were size 8, not size 6, so that’s why she gave ‘em to me. But seriously… kind of awkward. I dunno, I think it’s awkward since I don’t really like her and thus don’t want to be in debt to her in any way. You know?

So I am definitely addicted to Garth Brooks’ new song. It’s amazing. I’m not usually a big Garth fan period, but <b>More Than A Memory</b> is incredible. Seriously… wow.

Well I’m gonna go tidy up and wait for Stuart to get home. I figure tonight will just be a lazy night, watch some Jack & Bobby and just relax.

OK, so today Stuart texts me… they’re in Surrey. SURREY! Turns out they left yesterday, stayed over in Merrit, and headed out again this morning. He’d already be home if his parents hadn’t stopped at a casino. Far as I know he’s still on the Mainland ’cause I told him to tell me when he’s on the boat.

Then I got a call from the doctor asking me to come in for test results. So I just went down there… I have hypothyroidism. It might not be all that’s wrong, but it’s definitely part of it. I’ll try to explain this…

The pituitary gland sends out TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) to tell the thyroid to produce free T4. But my numbers show my TSH is really high while my free T4 is really low… so my brain is working overtime to try to get the thyroid to produce more of it. So now I have to take these pills which are fake T4. The problem is the brain will think I have T4 so my TSH levels will drop and the thyroid won’t produce any T4 on it’s own.

So… I’m going to feel better, then I’m going to feel worse again. I have 40 days worth of pills (it’s just one in the morning) so when I have five days left I have to go for blood work again and then they’ll up the dosage. I’ll have to continue doing this until we get it all balanced out.

And I may have to take pills for the rest of my life. Luckily they don’t break the bank… 40 days worth was $10!

So I won two tickets to Sean Hogan tonight, how awesome is that? I don’t know if I’m going to go ’cause I have no one who would wanna go. Maybe if Stuart is back in time I can convince him to go out to dinner??? It happens to be at the restaurant where we had our first date. LOL.

Anyways, I still need to clean the apartment, shower, and phone Aliesha to figure out just how the Hell we can fit in some time together. And I’m already exhausted from the day so far.