A Rose By Any Other Name…

Grrr. Last night Stuart insisted I tell him what was making me so mad, even though I said it wouldn’t change anything. So I told him… he can’t EVER help me around the house. If I’m incapable of doing whatever than it all just piles up. I mean, he came home yesterday and found me sick on the couch ’cause I’d been up for so long, and it was obvious I’d been cleaning the apartment. First thing he does? Throw his jacket in the middle of the living room floor.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I tell him all this and all he does is give me the fucking silent treatment. I hate the silent treatment. I’ve told him that a thousand times. I don’t care if he yells or swears or whatever, just don’t give me the fucking silent treatment.

I am so sick of having no help. I mean I only need to be off my feet for a couple more days (really until I’m done the percocet which will be tomorrow… ’cause they make me nauseus when I stand) but you think he’s going to help me at all in that time frame??? Not that he really can, we’re going to dinner at his parents tonight and then he has to go over there again tomorrow. But that’s kind of why I had hoped he would have helped out a couple days ago!

I had to clean every dish in the house yesterday. And he wonders why I’m pissed…. UGH!!!

I hate the weird moods I keep getting. It takes very little to make me upset, but it doesn’t take a lot to cheer me up at time either. The other morning… Tuesday I believe, I was exhausted in the morning. Made no sense to me since I was alright Monday and I actually got a decent amount of sleep. But no, I was so tired. I heard Stuart’s phone go off ’cause usually he works Tuesday, but he had this week off, but I could not bring myself to move in the least! Then about an hour and a half later I was woken up again, this time by Stuart’s beard/stubble. He was getting up but before he did he’d rolled over and given me a kiss on the cheek. No reason why… I mean he thought I was asleep so it obviously wasn’t for my benefit. That put me in a very good mood that day.

All week I’ve been in a lot of pain. My upper back and shoulders absolutely kill. They burn, and are stiff, and I can’t really lift my arms. I hate it. And it really hurts. Stuart tries to rub it but either it’s rather numb and I can’t feel him doing so, or it’s really sensitive and him touching it kills me. I simply can not win.

I wish my mother would stop thinking of me as a freaking taxi-cab. She’s always calling me for rides, and she’s quite a ways away from me so she expects me to drive all the way out there, drive here around, and then drive all the way back. WTF??? And the other night she had me run her downtown then Burt had to go “somewhere”. Turned out he was doing a fucking drug run. I was so pissed. My mom knows I don’t want to be put in that position. I don’t run her drugs and I don’t run her around drugs so she can buy them. I WAS SO FUCKING MAD!!!

In better news Kenny Chesney’s album is really good. I wasn’t the biggest fan of his last few albums but this one seems a lot better. His voice sounds good and clear, the music content is solid and… there’s a duet with George Strait! You can’t lose with the King on your album ya know? But seriously, awesome cd. And having the ability to put it on my iPod made my year. Seriously. I missed updating my iPod with all the various crap!!!

I can’t remember the last time I was so mad at someone, but Stuart is being a complete jerk. I have told him a million times that I do not want a computer in the living room. I see no reason why we need two computers. I take up maybe half a gig on this one, I certainly don’t go through his stuff and I never use it when he’s home. But still he insists he needs his own computer.

So what does he do? He starts setting up the computer in the corner of the living room. Oh I lost it! I was so upset. So he goes out on the balcony and gives me the silent treatment for three hours. Yeah, real nice. Then he comes in and I moved the futon and tv around so he could set it up in this one spot if he felt he needed to that badly, but now I hate the living room all over again. I worked so hard to get the apartment the way I like it and now there’s this big clunky thing in the middle of the living room. UGH!

When he came in he had gotten what he wanted so he acted like everything was fine… but it’s not. I really do not see a need for two computers, and when we get another desk where the fuck is it going to go??? He just will not listen to me.