A Rose By Any Other Name…

1. Have you had your birthday yet? Yes, it’s in the first couple weeks of the year.
2. Are you with the same person as you were at the beginning of 2007? I wasn’t with anyone at the beginning of the year, but I’m still with the only person I’ve been with in 2007.
3. Are you still in the same job? Kinda, currently I’m not working but I’m still employed there.
4. Is your favorite color the same color? Yup.
5. Have you got the same style/colour hair? Umm… pretty much I guess. I usually keep it dyed with a red tint and then straight… it’s probably a little shorter.
6. Have you bought a new car this year? No.
7. Anything exciting happen this year? Oh yeah.
8. Have you been involved with the police this year? Other than phoning in drunk drivers from work, no.
9. Favorite all time drinking place for 2007? Didn’t really drink this year.
10. Is your best friend still your best friend? Yup!
11. Got any tattoos or piercings this year? Yes, got a cartiledge piercing in my right ear… but it came out the other day and I can’t get it back in.
12. Had a haircut? Yes.
13. Been in a hospital this year? Yup, few times.
14. Lost someone you cared about this year? No.
15. Been on a vacation this year? Not really, no.
16. Been in love this year? Yup, and it gets stronger every day. (Ugh, so cliche)
17. Fallen out of love this year? Nope.
18. Been kicked out of a pub this year? Nope.
19. Completed any studies this year? No.
20. Read any books? Tons.
21. Worst thing to happen this year? This illness doctors can’t diagnose.
22. Best thing to happen this year? Stuart.
23. How many times have you gotten drunk? None.
24. Has this year been a good one so far? Despite being sick it’s been a very good year, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

Yesterday I was in a pretty crappy mood when Stuart got home. I’d just finished cleaning up the apartment… Friday mornings the boys go out to work so Henry brings his dirty dishes out of his room and what not. It’s so disgusting. Those boys have never heard of rinsing dishes! So it took me forever to get that stuff clean, and I was in more pain than ever so I was grouchy.

When Stuart came in I didn’t really look up from what I was reading on the computer screen, so he could tell I wasn’t in a great mood. He asked me what was wrong, if I was mad at him, sore or what. I said I was just kind of frustrated. So he comes over and puts this thing of flowers beside me and asks if that’ll make me feel better.

…

Yeah, that could do it. LOL. They’re miniature roses, kinda cute. LOL. And there wasn’t really any reason for him to do it so that’s always nice. He’s always doing sweet things for no reason though. One time I asked if we had any chocolate because I was craving some, but we didn’t so I just shrugged it off. All of a sudden he was gone and came back with some chocolate covered peanuts for me. LOL. So random.

Oh, and he deleted all his porn off the computer. I didn’t even ask him to do that… I never said stop looking at porn, I just said cut down on it. But no, he deleted it all. LOL. He didn’t even blink when he did so.

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I do not understand why so many people turn to drugs. Joe Nichols has now entered a rehab facility for substance abuse. *shakes head* I guess maybe it’s because I grew up surrounded by drugs and what not and have seen the consequences… but I just don’t see the appeal. They take all your money, change your personality (never for the better), and really just ruin your lives. It cliche, but seriously, don’t do drugs.

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As I mentioned above the pain has gotten to it’s worse point. I can barely move because all my muscles stiffen up. The pain is incredible. It’s like I’ve been beaten repeatedly with a baseball bat. Everything feels bruised and sore… it’s insane. I have to go to the doctor tomorrow so I’m hoping he’ll be able to do something, preferably without drugging me up. The Prozac has seemed to give me more energy… but it doesn’t help me sleep at all so my body feels tired but I feel awake. It’s insane, I hate it.

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Thank God it’s Saturday! That means yesterday the new Stargate Atlantis aired. Hehe. I’ve already downloaded it and am currently converting it to my iPod. Every Saturday night Stuart and I curl up and watch SGA. Good times. I wonder what we’ll do next weekend since we’ve already seen that episode… silly iTunes giving out the wrong episode!

Last night I couldn’t sleep… so I started thinking. That’s never a good thing, ’cause then I’ll never get to sleep. I finally went out into the living room because I was scared of disturbing Stuart too much. I eventually fell asleep and that’s where Stuart found me this morning. I think he thought I was upset but that wasn’t it, really!

I went back into the bedroom and a little bit later he came in to check on me. See, he is pretty good about hearing stuff when I tell him straight out. I told him I was fine but he laid down in front of me and hugged me anyways. LOL, so cute. I explained I just simply couldn’t sleep. *shrugs*

He started getting ready for work and all the stuff I was thinking back came back into my head again. Finally as he was leaving for work I asked him to do me a favour… when we have a moment alone (Henry comes in tonight) I asked him to make some time for me so we can have a talk. A real talk where he won’t make fun or change the subject. He’s really good at that. He promised to do so.

So now I have to straighten out everything I wanna talk about. It’s not necessarily bad stuff, just stuff I want him to know and understand. I have a terrible of habit of forgetting everything I mean to say when I get the opportunity tio say it… and I really don’t want to do that this time.

I want to explain this whole “depression” thing. I’m not considered clinically depressed because I’m happy more than I’m upset, and I don’t feel worthless or anything. It’s mainly at night I get down, and the stupidest stuff can cause it. I had a complete nervous breakdown Sunday ’cause there was too much laundry to put away! He’s not at fault for my down mood, actually he makes it better. You wouldn’t know it since I can still get down but I saw how bad it got when he wasn’t here to try to cheer me up… he really makes a difference.

He also needs to understand that I can’t always talk to him about what’s bothering me… I don’t know what’s bothering me a lot of the time. I love that he wants to understand the stupid shit going on in my head but he can’t always do so, sometimes he just needs to sit back and let me be upset for a while.

There’s a lot of other things I want to discuss but I’m not really comfortable posting them online. Hopefully my brother and Henry don’t take over the apartment all weekend!

So I got some random texts from Stuart today. I know he’s enjoying time with his grandparents and the rest of the family but I also know he has a hard time sleeping alone now (*insert girlish giggles*) so I think he’s missing me. Awww. Plus his mom is being her bitchy self which is putting him in a little bit of a crappy mood. But hopefully she’ll get busy with the party and leave him be so he can relax some.

My brother is going to rent out the extra room with Liz and Amanda downstairs. He’s only around two days a week, and even then he’s rarely at home, so that should work out nicely. I know Amanda is never around so it’s pretty much just Liz’s place. LOL.

Henry, the Scottish kid my brother works with, is going to rent out our spare bedroom. He’s so quiet and hangs out with my brother all the time so that should work out well. Like Jeff he’s only in for two days out of the week too. Awesome.

Unfortunately Jeffrey and Henry failed to help me do any of the packing stuff up in the spare bedroom like they were supposed to… but luckily they’ve agreed to help do it when their in next weekend. That’ll be four of us getting it done so it should go nice a quick.

I did get Stuart’s porn magazines packed away. We only have his dresser right now and they were taking up a lot of room, and he never looks at them, so I packed them away in a box. He can get at them easy enough if he so desires.

Tomorrow morning I’m driving Jeffrey and Henry to Qualicum… so I have to be up at 6AM. I’ll get home around 9… so going back to bed when I do!!! And then I have a few movies to help me get through until Monday… High School Musical 2, Knocked Up, The Parent Trap (the original one peeps… Lindsay Lohan can kiss my ass), and Becoming Jane. Wooot.

But still, I miss Stuart and want it to be Monday NOW.

Oh, and I have to remember I was invited to Kaitlyn’s brother Chases’ birthday party tomorrow. I can NOT believe he’s seven!!!