A Rose By Any Other Name...

Welcome to my blog. If you're aware of my LiveJournal, I still have that as well. It just doesn't have the feeling of a blog... so I'm uncomfortable posting some things there. So I have this. No need to read both, no need to read either really. Just a way for me to have my friends journal there, and this here.  

Some posts will be cross-posted to or from LiveJournal.

By the way, this post is stickied so to see new posts scroll down!

UGH!!! I had a nice post typed up and it disappeared. I'm so pissed.

Anyways, I had a job interview today. I'm really, really hoping I get this job. It'll be a 9-5 which will be so much better for me 'cause then I can go to the pool every morning which is something my doctor really recommends. It's hard to do when you work until midnight though. Sarah, my interviewer, said she'd let me know by Wednesday. I AM SO NERVOUS!!! I don't have much past experience that qualifies me for this particular job besides customer service... but I think the interview went well.

In December Jack Bauer, my awesome betta fish, died. It was sad. I even cried. I mean come on, he was the best fish ever! He could practically talk to you. And it wasn't anything I did, or old age or anything... he ate something he shouldn't have. :(

I have moved on to a new betta finally though. This one is red, opposed to Jack's blue, and is named Carson Beckett after the one and only from Stargate Atlantis. Liz bought me a Jack Bauer action figure for my birthday which I put into the tank... it's a little memorial for Jack and it looks SO FREAKING COOL!

I bought a new mp3 player on eBay last week. We use my iPod for tv shows, plus it's too bulky to really walk around with, and my old one just wasn't meeting my needs anymore. I gave that to Shellane and bought this one. It's real thin, 4GB, black, shiny, etc. LOL. I'm so excited to get it. Why? I don't really know... but I am!

Anyways I haven't posted here in ages so there's probably ton more I should be updating on, but I don't feel like being on the computer anymore... so meh.

I'm pretty proud of myself right now. Why, you ask? It's nothing big... but... I have stopped biting my nails! LOL. Seriously, I've been trying to stop for over ten years (ever since I started) so this is a great thing for me. I actually have nails... it's so bizarre. Heh. Yay me.

Stuart is driving me nuts! My roots are showing... and he won't let me dye my hair. Says he wants to see my true hair colour. I have no problem with my actual hair colour... but it's so annoying having two toned hair. Thank goodness it grows out fast and I'm only stuck with this for a couple months... or I would be very unhappy.

George Strait had a new cd released today. It's to accompany his "50 #1's" which was missing some great hits that never topped the charts. I want it so bad... but can also wait since there's nothing new. But I have a complete George Strait collection so it is vital I get it eventually. Heh.

Yesterday my mom was all whiney and bitchy 'cause OMG she's in pain and needs to get to a doctor. Yes, sounds reasonable until you find out she does this ALL THE TIME. See, my mom is addicted to Acetaminophen with codene. When I say addicted I mean she takes well over 50 pills a day. Seriously. She's also addicted to marijuana, and was using cocaine and such but whether she still is I have no idea. But she can't understand why I just get a blank stare when she starts telling me how she doesn't have any pills and can I please lend her $10? (Helllllo, been off work since August!!!)

She convinced my dad to give her a ride to the doctor yesterday. So when Stuart was done cleaning his parents place, which he does every Monday, I took dad's car back (we had to go the weekend without car insurance.) Dad said he'd give me a ride back since he was leaving anyways... but then we end up going to my mom's. Eh, whatever... I had no place I needed to be. My brother was at mom's too... so we go downtown... mom goes into the doctor and dad says he'll go get some groceries.

So we go into Save On Foods, he gets a cart and then lists off what he needs... "Milk, cream, banannas."

Yes, that was his whole list. So why the cart? 'Cause he wanted to buy us some groceries. This is very thoughtful, but we actually have a good deal of food. But... he would not accept this. I said I could use some vegtables... so as I'm grabbing some carrots and celery he goes and gets some meat, and ice cream. ROTFLMAO. He's one of those "you can't leave a store without ice cream!" people.

All in all he bought us about $60 in groceries (I should mention my brother eats up here, and helps buy our food too, so this went to all of us). It was very kind, but I can't figure out his insistence.

And then today he calls my brother... to come pick up all the ingrediants for cookies and lasagna. I'm sorry, did I hear lasagna??? LOL. So excited!!! But seriously... I dunno what's gotten into my dad lately. This is after he helped pay off my brother's ICBC debt, and he paid my uncle $6000 dollars for me... so I can start giving my dad monthly installments. Apparently he got some pay-out or something... but good Lord. *shrugs*

Lately I've been wanting to do some cross stitch... but my God the kits are expensive. I could just find a pattern and buy the thread, which is what I'll probably end up doing... but I'm terrible at estimating how much I'll need. *sigh* Maybe I'll ask my mom for some for Christmas and/or my birthday. That is if she buys us anything this year... I don't recall a Christmas present from her last year (I'd be more forgiving if it wasn't because all the money went to drugs) and I haven't had a birthday present since I turned 16... an ugly pair of used sweat pants and a book with it's cover torn off that wasn't something I'd be interested in anyways. Aww... ain't I loved?

OK, I think I'm done for now. Least I'm going to make myself be done for now... 'cause I don't wanna type anymore.

If you're in BC you may have heard about the hit and run incident Tuesday in Chilliwack. A fourteen year old boy was crossing the street with his bike and a black mustang came roaring through the school zone (which is 30km an hour) at about 90 and hit him, then drove off!!!

Well the boy was Jeremy, I worked with him at Tim Horton's. He just moved to Chilliwack to live with his mom. THIS IS INSANE. I heard about it last night. He's going to be fine, but his leg had to be completely restructured. I know he's had at least two surgeries so far.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! They nabbed the guy yesterday, thank God. Fucking bastard better get what he deserves!

Now to start NaNo....

I managed to drag myself to the doctor today.... I was supposed to go Monday but didn't, and then yesterday I missed my doc 'cause he had weird times... so I went today. I explained how my energy is better but the pain isn't. The pain is different though, it's not the same as it was in June when this all started. He said that was a good sign.

I told him how the prescription makes me feel, and the weird dreams it makes me have. Etc etc. In the end he decided we were on the right path... which I have to agree with. This is the first prescription that has made any improvement. SO HE DOUBLED MY DOSE!!! Ugh. Doubled. He told me to stock up on Coca-Cola... bastard. I was hoping he could at least give me a clue as to something I could do to make my stomach feel better. :(

So I went into London Drugs with my prescription. Now, before the pharmacist had even put my name into the computer or anything he remembered I'd had this prescription before, and that it was for pain not depression. That was almost a month ago! I'm impressed, seriously. The prescription is going to cost $70 though. Ugh. That sucks. And since I only have two days worth left guess who's going to have to do some nice begging to her dad! At least for something like this he usually jumps right in to help, because obviously it's needed.

The pharmacist just called though, they don't have enough pills to fill my order. Oh Lord. LMAO. That makes me feel like crap 'cause I need that many, ugh. But I have enough for a couple days so he said tomorrow afternoon they'll have 'em in, so it's all good.

In other news I forgot to put my phone on silence last night. I have the alarm set to take my pill in the morning but I take it when Stuart leaves 'cause that always wakes me up, so I only need the alarm on weekends. Well it was in the living room so Stuart came in and gave me a kiss to wake me up and reminded me to take it. It was cute. And then I had to actually get up though, 'cause my brother had a driving test at 9:30 and being the awesome big sister that I am, and since I was the only one available, I took him.

He failed. :( But he knows what went wrong so he'll get in next time, I'm sure. And to make up for my having to get up so early he left me his laptop today (he's out working with a friend) and bought me Subway for lunch!

Yesterday when I was doing dishes I got a bad pain in my right hand. This isn't unusual, I get sudden jolts of pain regularly. This time however, I was holding a rather sharp knife and the pain caused my hand to jerk. Luckily I only got a slight gash on my left arm... it could have been much worse. It stings like an SOB though. Good Lord!!!

Tomorrow I have to go back to the doctor... thank God! I am so sick of this prescription. I feel sick all the time. The only thing that doesn't make me throw up day after day is the little I eat and Coca Cola. If I don't keep nursing Coke every day I feel like crap. I HATE IT!!! Especially since I'm not big on drinking soda pop and the likes... and Stuart doesn't really want it around. *sigh*

My brother goes for his driving test on Hallowe'en. Tuesday night we'll go trade cars with my dad since he works Wednesday, that way Jeffrey can still do his test in his car. This will be Jeff's fourth attempt at taking the test. No, he hasn't failed three times... three times he's been unable to actually take the test for various reasons. I really hope it works out for him this time.

So many great cd's have been released lately. Stuart and Jeffrey have been playing Halo for hours and I don't even care 'cause I have Jeff's laptop and my iPod! New Josh Turner... Carrie Underwood... Gary Allan... I'm very occupied. Heh. They're awesome cd's too. I like Carrie's much more than I did her first one... Josh is always amazing, and Gary's isn't his best but still a great cd.

NaNoWriMo starts in only a few days! I'm actually excited, even though I can't decide what to write about. I'll figure it out I'm sure. :) Jeffrey has agreed to lend me his laptop for the first week of November since Steve will be here. This way I can stay out of the boys' hair and get massive writing done... it'll be great. Yes the boys will be loud and I'll lose massive amounts of sleep again, but since I'm not trying to get through my illness and work this time I think I'll survive some sleeploss.

I should try to convince Stuart to make some dinner soon... I'm starving. Now, how can I possibly pull him away from the fascinating video game? Hmmm.

I forgot to mention a very important thing in my last post... the Prozac is making me have lots of really weird dreams. Every night I have three or four that I remember when I wake up... who knows how many I have that I don't remember. The other night I had a dream that a tax monster was after me for not filing last year. :\ LMAO. It was the weirdest God damned thing. It's been driving me nuts for the last couple weeks.

I really hate this... my eyes are bloodshot every night, I can't concentrate, I have trouble breathing... I don't think the Prozac is working.

I hate Prozac, I hate Prozac, I hate Prozac!!! Oy. Seriously, it was annoying when I first started taking it and it made my stomach and throat burn... but now they burn at random times. I woke up with it this morning. And the only thing that seems to settle it is Coca-Cola. NOT IMPRESSED. Stuart and I don't keep pop in the apartment so the last couple days I've had to make random runs to the store to grab a bottle of coke. Tonight I bought a six pack of 'em, but ugh. I hate drinking so much soda. I figured it'd be the carbonation but I tried Sprite and GingerAle and neither of those did the trick, has to be Coke.

Oh, and I thought my energy was back but I was wrong. The last couple days I've kind of found myself dragging around. Today it's like I can't really focus on anything unless I'm reading. I tried to watch tv... nope... play the Wii... uh huh... even just talking to Stuart I get this dazed look and can't concentrate. It's driving me mad. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

Yesterday I got up fairly early and stayed up late, so I managed to sleep until six am this morning. It's only like four hours, but that's twice as long as normal. But not getting a full night's sleep is really starting to take it's toll. Two hour increments do not do it, seriously. Try it, set your alarm... cell phone... watch... whatever to go off every two hours and see how you feel tomorrow morning.

I'm also in the weirdest mood. I can be kind of blah and then the littlest thing can piss me off or cheer me up. Like earlier Stuart was doing... I dunno, something, and I just got really upset. Didn't help that I started doing the dishes and picking crap up and putting laundry away when I felt like I was going to pass out the entire time. And really Stuart didn't do anything wrong... :\ Then just now he asks me if I'm good at puzzles... and yeah, I'm alright. He's playing a video game... there's three symbols (they're actually trees, but this is not important) ok? Now there's a grid 3 x 3 with these symbols... you take one away and it, along with the ones touching it change. You need to get all nine the same symbol. He tried forever and could not do it... so I go over to try and he gets up to tidy up the kitchen a little while I do so... manages to take pot from stove to sink and then I'm done. Hehehehe. That cheered me up more than you could ever imagine. It's always the little things.

Now all I want is a hug from Stuart. It's so random and bizarre that crap I feel at times. I'm so glad Stuart is so understanding. :)

But ugh, one week until I go back to the doctor. You better believe he's getting an earfull!!

My mom was telling Stuart and I how she's finally getting a computer set up.

Mom: I'm finally joining the twentieth century.

Me: Good job mom, it's the twenty-first.

I'm in a fairly decent mood. I've finally gotten all my debts on track. They won't be paid off for what feels like ages, but they're not sending me nasty letters anymore! Because of the car accident I was in during my first year of university I was unable to attend the following year, or work right away. I applied for "interest relief" and was told I would have to reapply in six months if still unable to begin payments. About three months later I recieved notive that I was overdue on payments. WTF??? So I applied again, again was told everything was fine and would have to reapply in six months if still unable to pay, and then two or three months later recieved notice of missed payments.

I was so pissed. But I've let it go now. When I was working they wouldn't accept payments because of whatever reason so I ended up with some pretty shitty situations. And now I'm not working... grr. But today I finally got it almost all cleared up. They're accepting low monthly payments until I'm back to work ($50 to federal, $25 to provincial) and I just need to fill out some financial report for the provincial one. Seriously, since I'm <i>not working</i> I can't see them saying I can make payments any higher.

When I get back to work I'll up both those payment as much as I can in hopes of getting them paid off quickly. I should be able to pay off the provincial debt in about a year to two years depending on when I get back to work. The federal one will take a bit longer (monthly interest right now is just over $40 so I'm not paying much on the debt) but it'll get there.

I just wish I could go back to work. I have about six weeks left of EI... after that I don't know what I'll do. I wanna be back to work by the end of November but that looks really unlikely. :(

Ha! I just got a phone call from Stuart at work. He phoned just to complain that I passed him in TV trivia on Facebook. See, this is why I love him. That's just too freaking cute. LMAO.

Speaking of phone calls... everybody decided to phone this morning while I was in bed! At 2:30 in the morning Henry's dad phoned (he's in Scotland and didn't think about the time difference). Then just after Stuart left for work the phone kept ringing, but since the bedroom phone was in the living room from Henry's phone call earlier I ignored it. Blah. At noon I hear my brother come in so I get up, and Jeffrey is here with Devon and my dad. And they brought me a bubble tea!

When dad left Jeff pointed out that he had left me something on the counter. I look... there's a letter that went to his place... and a $25 gift card for Save on Foods. NICE. We have food and all, but still... nice. LOL. 'Specially since we seem to feed the boys when they're here... and that's a lot of food. They eat more than Stuart!

Yesterday my medication caused a nosebleed that last three and a half hours. So not cool. If that happens again I'm going straight back to the doctor because so far all they've done is give me a little more energy. I'm still not sleeping well, still sore and feeling bruised, still irritable (actually I may be less so now come to think of it.) Since taking the pills I've become fidgity and agitated though. I'm not a happy camper.